Another Plea For Emmaline

Last night, when I had a moment of down time, I flopped onto facebook for a few moments of quiet time.  Instead of the normal humdrummy chumminess, my inbox was bursting with urgent-feeling messages; people were asking for prayers, for guidance, reaching out to sympathize with me….and I had no clue what was going on.

People were asking if I could tell them more about sweet Emmaline because perhaps, for the fist time ever, they may, just this once, be considering adoption.  This couldn’t be right. Emmaline has a family coming for her.  Or she did 8 hours ago.  oh.

 

Emmaline, Emmaline, Emmaline – the girl I held as she cried snotty tears in my hair, the girl I promised I’d search the wide world for her mama.  She isn’t “my” Emmaline, I am not her mama, but all the same, there is a part of her in my heart.  The day a family committed to her my heart was fit to burst with joy.

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For reasons entirely unrelated to adoption, yesterday was a hard day and the day before was harder.  I read the messages, gave tidbits of quick advice, sent out prayers, and messaged her almost-mama to make sure everyone was okay. I know it was not an easy decision for them to make, I know because I made the same decision not to turn around as soon as we landed in America, not to start the process again to adopt one more children.  I know because I’ve been there. I am there.  Adoption is a choice, choosing not to adopt is also a choice.  Both choices hold heartbreak, both choices need to made by every family individually.

Then the messages about Jeffery began.  Do not search for him among the living waiting children, he is now in the quiet place.  He was in the same country as Emmaline, a chilling immediate reminder that children die while waiting for families.  I didn’t think about crying. I didn’t try to console others. I closed my computer screen. I flipped through a magazine. I went to bed.  I thought I had nothing left to say, nothing left to give. It was all too much.

 

Today Roman responded to his name consistently for the first time.  Angelina and Della spent hours playing happily together. Friends dropped by with apples and apple cider.  Rain drizzled outside, windchimes maintained a constant ringing, and I had a cup of tea.  Today I did not walk away, today I found what I could give.

There are days to walk away, to say it is too much, to not have any tears left to cry. There are those days.  But after you have a day like that, walk back, pick things up, and do what you can do. Although I feel as though I can’t do all that much, I can advocate in this blog, and you can share the stories. The stories here have been pebbles tossed into a calm water, they have rippled and spread in ways I could not foresee. The stories have changed hearts which in turn have changed lives.

Emmaline’s story is back on track towards an adult mental institution when she ages out of her current location.  It is a terrible story, a story in which over 90% of children, once transferred, die within the first year from abuse and neglect.  Terrible, made more awful because it is true.  And what can you do?

Angelina was on that same track, that was going to be the story of her life, until someone advocated for her, someone shared the truth of her situation, someone shared her face and her story, someone reached out to answer my questions when I started the very hesitant first steps of adoption when I was still saying perhaps, just this once, I’ll consider adopting.

These are things you can do:

  1. Pray for Emmaline’s continued health and safety.
  2. If you want to know more about the adoption process because perhaps, maybe, you are considering adopting this sweet girl, email me your questions at hats4home@gmail.com
  3. Share her story, help her family find her.
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8 comments on “Another Plea For Emmaline

    • She is only 11 (or 12 by now, her birth month is not listed). Like most children raised in institutions, she is quite small for her age, I was easily able to lift her out of her wheelchair when she wanted to be transferred to the floor do to puzzles. Orphans in her country are available for adoption till age 16. She will most likely remain at her current orphanage until she turns 16 at which point she will be transferred to an adult mental hospital where she will spend the rest of her life. Her country prefers to not have the country shared, but I can tell you that we used this facilitation team for our process http://www.handofhelpinadoption.org/p/home.html
      If you have more questions about the process please feel free to email me at hats4home@gmailcom

      • I was afraid that that was the case 😦 Thanks for the information though! We are currently working on bringing a little girl from Bulgaria…I think where Emmaline is might be our next adoption destination, if my heart can handle going there. I’ve felt for a while that we’d eventually be adopting from there, but I dread it…I’ve heard so many horror stories.

      • Much of Eastern Europe comes with horror stories. We actually attempted Bulgaria twice before going to Angelina’s country. Both times the day we sent in the request for information for the child, a family submitted their commitment papers! I spent many hours talking to adoptive parents about their experiences from Emmaline’s country. In the end we went there because that was where Angelina was, we would have gone to wherever she was waiting 🙂

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