Our delightful little Roman man turns three today! I took a little time today to sit with a cup of tea and look back at pictures of Roman from the past 9 months. Seeing the blank little face of the tiny boy we met less than a year ago and comparing him to the inquisitive on-the-go child he is today just about breaks my heart in the best way possible. When I scanned all the way back to the first day when we met Roman, I had to go grab the tissue box. Can I tell you about the dread I felt that day? It was this deep sinking feeling as I held a child who did not respond to my voice, would not look at my face, did not babble, did not smile, did not cry, and pushed away from being held.
There are a lot of adoption stories when the parents will say they felt a connection right away, they fell in love right away. I don’t doubt that is true; it was not case for us, and that is okay. Having lived through postpartum depression, I know first-hand that love is actions as well as feelings and that I can be a loving, caring mother even when I don’t feel that warm happy loving feeling. Love is patient. Meeting Roman that day, I did not doubt our decision even while I was sobered by Roman’s development, and I believe God provided the strength to return day after day to hold a little boy who was becoming our son. As the days turned to weeks and then months, I realized that there was a special undiscovered place in my heart that had always been waiting for Roman. As my heart unfolded to encompass this little boy, Roman’s heart began to blossom.
These days instead of laying on the floor all day long, not interacting with toys or people, and simply clapping his hands or banging his head, Roman now spends all day as a constant ball of inquisitive force. He has mapped out the entire house, knows when the bathroom door has been left open so he can scoot in and splash in the dog’s water, and takes out all the tupperware from the kitchen drawers. It’s awesome. He has graduated from the Birth-to-Three therapy program and will continue with home based therapy provided through the school system. He squeals with delight when Mom or Dad walk in the room, plays ball and fetch with his sisters, and is on the verge of walking!
Just this week Roman has begun crawling to me as soon as I enter the room. He will drop his toys and head towards me with fierce determination. When he is close enough, he will reach out a hand to tug on my pant leg, sign “more” and then lift his arms up to be held. As I lift him us, he squeaks out a gleeful “eeeeh eeeeh!” and then smiles right at me, looking into my eyes, studying my face as I talk to him.
Roman’s Reece’s Rainbow profile picture:
The first picture I saw of Roman on 31 June’s page:
From our first few visits:
Important people in Roman’s life:
The day we flew home:
6 months home:
Today! Happy Birthday Roman!