Baby Z

Goodness me, as I’m staring at the order form for new ducklings I can’t believe how much time has passed since my last post!

2018 was a good, busy, very full year.

If the first week of the new year is any indication, 2019 will be just as full!

Our sweet son Ezekiel was born via csection on January 3rd, a few days before his scheduled delivery. Nothing to worry about, just enough to keep us on our toes.

My mother and sister-in-law provided incredible support for the first month which allowed me to focus on healing and bonding. Such a blessing ❤

This new baby phase is quite different than my last two post partum experiences. With my first, I struggled with a colicky baby and lingering postpartum anxiety. I didn’t know if I’d ever be up for having another baby. With my second, I spent my recovery time scrolling through adoption blogs and praying about a little girl wearing a hat. Now, with Ezekiel, I am content to simply be present in this moment with this child in this family.

Now I know that there are so many unknowns, so many things that are out of my control. Instead of impatiently yearning for better days in the future, days with more sleep, more time, more independence, I am content to sit in my rocking chair listening to the sleeping breath of my rainbow baby who came after so much upheaval and loss. People have asked if this is our last baby and l honestly have no idea. All I know is that I will not take this baby’s existence for granted.

Seven years ago I became a mother, a young mother by our society’s standards. I listened to the advice of older women and tried to fathom the saying of “the days are long but the years are short.” Oh how loooong those days felt! But goodness, it has been a fleeting fast seven years!

My sweet seven year old, the girl who made me a mother. My how time flies.

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